Photo by Jose M. on Unsplash

I have something to say:

To those supporters who voted him in, cheered him on, voted for him again, and NOW suddenly disavow the violence they helped to incite…

To the police who gently turned away an armed mob of white supremacists storming our nation’s capital, but have no compunction about shooting an unarmed, sleeping black woman in her own home…

To his political aides and former lackeys who gave him license to rape, loot…


I’m not supposed to live through this month. Sometimes I wonder if I’m really alive.

Photo by Daniel Jensen on Unsplash

A few months ago, during a rough patch in my marriage, a friend suggested I consult with a psychic medium. He’d been encouraging me to talk to her for a few years, and even though she couldn’t see me in person due to the COVID pandemic, I figured what the hell. Didn’t seem like there was much she could tell me that I didn’t already know, and I figured it might be amusing.

I paid the $200 for a phone consultation and was instructed that my “reading” was scheduled for 2 p.m. No further instructions. I set an alarm and…


A cautionary dating tale

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Before I met my husband through a mutual friend, I was an early adopter of online dating. I met and dated several men from the internet beginning in the 1990s. I never felt terribly unsafe doing so because, in those early days of the internet, most people who signed up for dating sites posted their real pictures and gave their real names. When you met someone from a dating site, the worst you had to fear was that the photo they posted was 10 years old or only showed them from the neck up so you couldn’t see their body…


Children are wonderful, but parenthood was not for me

Photo by Senjuti Kundu on Unsplash

When I was 27 and single, I thought I was surely on the cusp of meeting “the one,” settling down, and raising a family. Nine years earlier, I’d had an offer from a wealthy but much older man: “Marry me, give me a couple of kids, and I’ll provide you with a comfortable life, with no strings attached.” That meant I could shop all I wanted, live in my own private apartment, have a few affairs, and generally do as I liked, provided HE got to raise our children. I never even considered accepting his offer. …


Photo by Mike Von on Unsplash

My mother used to tell me that society works like a pendulum, undulating back and forth between liberalism and conservativism. During those swings, progress is often made, although it may not seem to happen quickly enough for those who seek it.

For the past half-century, progress has been made on the liberal front in the form of landmark cases such as Roe v. Wade, Obergefell v. Hodges, Brown v. Board of Education, and the Civil Rights Act of 1964. In recent years, attacks from the right on the Affordable Care Act and DACA, as well as Roe v. …


The author’s father, around 1967

When my dad passed away in 2015 (on Cinco de Mayo, so that’s one holiday ruined for good), it was sudden, but not exactly unexpected. He’d had a dissecting aortic aneurysm in February, something most people don’t survive at the outset. He’d gotten lucky, but his luck didn’t hold out. Just when he was beginning to make progress toward recovery, his wife came back from golf one afternoon and found him on the bed, his Kindle on his lap, head tipped back, just gone.

It was a whirlwind after, while we gathered family and friends and made the final arrangements…


World, meet Chaplin. Photo by the author

Our 13-year-old cat, Houdini, had been with me since he was 8 weeks old — a feral cat, born in the wild, who’d been lucky enough to be dropped off at my coworker’s door by its mother, he’d grown from a tiny kitten into a beautiful and much-loved grey tabby. He’d seen me through a family member’s serious illness, and moved with me into my husband’s home, surviving a full three years longer than the vet thought he would before finally succumbing to congestive heart failure in mid-July. My heart was broken at his passing. …


I acknowledge, and regret, its racism. I celebrate its achievements.

Image of Hattie McDaniel with her Gone With The Wind costars
Image of Hattie McDaniel with her Gone With The Wind costars
Image Source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8d/Gone_With_The_Wind_featuring_McDaniel_%26_de_Havilland_%26_Leigh.jpg

I was around 15 years old when I first saw Gone With The Wind. My mother rented it, and together, we watched all four-plus hours of videotape. I remember at the break just before intermission, when the first tape ran out, I said, “What an amazing film!” And then my mother said, “It’s not over yet!” I’d thought that once Scarlett said, “As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again!” and the music swelled, that was it. She’d survived the Civil War, and she was on a new path, right?

And then we dug in for another two…


And yes, it sucked

Photo by 🇨🇭 Claudio Schwarz | @purzlbaum on Unsplash

I think I’ve been feeling pretty cocky lately. Weeks have gone by since they issued the shelter-in-place order for my California county. I’ve stayed at home, thankful to have a job where I can work remotely, and while I’ve respected the rules: only essential trips outside, keeping a six-foot distance from others, washing my hands till they’re raw and cracked, and wearing a mask, I’ve been feeling a little invincible. Nobody I know has come down with Coronavirus. Thank heaven for that. I was actually beginning to believe that we might make it through all this madness unscathed. …


And lived to tell the tale…

Photo by JAFAR AHMED on Unsplash

Three months ago, I had elective surgery to repair a defect in my urethra. I was experiencing something a lot of women my age experience — stress urinary incontinence or SUI— but in my case, it was caused not by childbirth or a lack of tone in my pelvic floor. I’m one of the rare cases where a simple physical defect causes me to wet myself if I cough, sneeze, or (lord help me) vomit.

In December of last year, I had what’s known as a mid-urethral (or retropubic) sling procedure, where surgical mesh is implanted through the vagina to…

Jennifer K

Rogue stepmother Late in life wife Seeker of truth, enlightenment, and avocado toast Marketing and Graphics geek Defender of the Oxford Comma

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